so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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