I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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