How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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