We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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