is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
