my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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