i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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