I smell stomach acid.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
