We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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