who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
