The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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