its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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