Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
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