saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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