I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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