chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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