just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
People in love make me want to vomit
It's like God shit irony all over that family
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
