I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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