I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
