how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize