Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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