she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need moral support for this bender
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
