i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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