filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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