Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
