The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
