i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
