Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
