I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
