Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted

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(407): View more from Florida

i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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(450): View more from Quebec

Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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(305): View more from Florida

she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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(971): View more from Oregon

I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Uh do you have my pants because I have yours

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