No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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