I want to stick my p in your. b.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just gargled with NyQuil
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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