The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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