is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
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