you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
