I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
