sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
