u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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