just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
