So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
