I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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