You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
