I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
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Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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