I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
