And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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