is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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