He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
