Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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