Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
