Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
