My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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