So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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