Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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