Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
