omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
