you traded sex for a burrito?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We left the knife in your bed.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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