She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
