I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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