In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
