i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
