where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
then he tried to convert me to islam
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.