come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
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Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.