Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.