So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.