so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.