Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.