Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't apologize to a one balled man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize