when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
