I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
